Humour
Biblical Humour
Q.. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A.. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A.. German Shepherds.
Q.. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A.. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q… Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A.. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a
little prophet.
Q.. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A.. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph
was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles
were all in one Accord.
Q… Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A.. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q.. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q.. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A.. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q.. Which area of Middle East was especially wealthy?
A.. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
Q.. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A.. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q.. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
A.. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan.)
PS… Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . ‘He-brews’
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An American in London
An American tourist in London wanders around, seeing the sights and occasionally stopping at some small pub to have a pint of beer. After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with stately residences. No pubs, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms. However, he really has to pee, after all those pints of beer. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
He is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, “Sir, you simply cannot do that here.”
“I’m very sorry, officer,” replies the American, “but I really have to pee, and I just can’t find a public restroom.”
“Just follow me” says the Bobby. Then he leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens. “In there,” points the Bobby, “whiz away sir, anywhere you like.”
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, big fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of flowers.
He relieves himself immediately. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobby “That was really nice of you. Is that what you call English hospitality? ”
“No sir…” replied the Bobby, “that is what we call the American Embassy.”
October 4, 2011 at 3:09 am
Hey great addition to this website