Job Title: Chief Justice of Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka.
Qualification : Attorney-at-Law or equivalent ,
Experience: Optional (Flexibility considered)
Age : Less than 65- can be extended under Presidential directive.
Job Description:
1.Sanction all proposed legislation.
2.Dismiss all applications filed against Government and the state friendly media.
3. Must uphold the supremacy of the parliament and its Select Committee at […]

 
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
 
Men Are Just Happier People —
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
 
Your last name stays put.
 
The garage is all yours.
 
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
 
Chocolate is just another snack…
 
You can never be pregnant.
 
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
 
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
 
Car […]

May your happiness increase like the price of vegetables;
May your worries disappear like the greese yakas;
May your enemies be punished like Sarath Fonseka;
May you be protected like Duminda Silva;
May you be highly qualified in an instant like Namal Rajapaksa;
May your wealth and property increase like the Rajapaksa Brothers;
May you live a never ending life like […]

Methods to kill a Lion
Newton Method:
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Let, the lion catch you. This implies that you caught the lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap […]

 HUMOUR with Lakshman Indranath Keerthisinghe 

How to Know the Gender of a Fly? 

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
‘What are you doing?’
She asked.
‘Hunting Flies’
He responded.
‘Oh! Killing any?’
She asked.
‘Yep, 3 Males, 2 Females,’ he replied.
 

Intrigued, she asked.

‘How can you tell them apart?’ !He responded,

‘3 were on a beer can, 
2 were on the […]

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another […]

GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.
Beeeeeppp ….
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it is.
If you need […]

A father put his three-year old daughter to bed, told her a story, and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
“God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma
and good-bye Grandpa.”
The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’
The little girl said, “I don’t know, Daddy. It just seemed like
the thing to do.”
The next […]

IN PRISON

AT WORK

you spend the majority of your time in an 8’X10′ cell .
you spend most of your time in a 6’X8′ cubicle .. 

IN PRISON

AT WORK

you get three meals a day (free).
you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .

IN PRISON

AT WORK

you get time off for good […]

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight … One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
and……
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking … I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses …
He Drinks Straight […]