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• PresiDunce Bean
  May 30, 2011 at 10:12 am

  This is a new Alphabet for the ‘Vocal Majority’ from the ‘Silent Minority’.

  A is for Abductions that take place daily, usually blamed on aliens.

  B is for Benz Bikkus who live in the lap of luxury.

  C is for Censorship of TV programmes showing scenes of alcohol and tobacco.

  D is for Doctor Delipihiya patron saint of murder and mayhem.

  E is for Elections which are neither free nor fair.

  F is for Freedom of abduction, harassment and imprisonment under the Prevention of Tourism Act.

  G is for Gullible majority who have been hoodwinked since 1948.

  H is for Human rights abuses that occur 465 days of the year.

  I is for IndepenDunce also known as the ’63 Year Curse’. (We were better off under the British!)

  J is for Jayasuriya, who will probably play until the 2043 World Cup or until he gets his EPF?

  K is for Kassipu. (A bottle a day keeps the liver awake.)

  L is for Lies, damned lies and statistics that the government media saturates us with each day.

  M is for Mahinda Chinthanaya. (Who needs the Bible, Koran and Tripitaka when we have the ‘chinthanaya.’

  N is for Nepotism or favoritism to relatives. (Also check R)

  O is for the 17 Patriotic Opposition MPs who crossed over to the government to save the country.

  P is for Pillayan, who became Chief Minister of the East using the ‘Bullet’ to get the ‘Ballot.’

  Q is for Question mark? When will we become the ASS Chariya Rai of the universe? When pigs fly or when hell freezes over?

  R is for Rajapaksa Poshanaya of Mahinda, Basil, Goatabaya and Chamal.

  T is for Terrorism. Both the LTTE kind and the State sponsored kind.

  U is for Underestimate. What the Government always does of the LTTE.

  V is for Velupillai Prabahakaran may you rest in pieces.(very very small pieces)

  W is for Wickramasinghe (Ranil). The greatest President that never governed Sri Lanka.

  X is for Xenophobia or the island mentality. The dislike of all things foreign.

  Y is for Yearning for yesterday. The national pastime of living in the past.

  Z is for Zero Casualties the tall story that only most Sinhalese believe.

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